Emotionally Cheating is Still Cheating

I gave you everything & you gave my hard work to someone else. 

I do not believe in soulmates. I don’t believe that two people are “made for each other” because I believe that people are completely self-sufficient. Unless you are trying to reproduce, having a partner isn’t necessary. With modern technology, even that is questionable.

Yet, I gave you everything I had. I tried my best to be loving and generous. I put myself in situations that I wasn’t comfortable in, to begin with. You took that vulnerability and used it to your advantage. I had told you that I was cheated on in the past and you did exactly the same. You made me feel crazy for feeling alone, unwanted, and unattractive. You told me that I was crazy for caring, sharing my mind, and telling you what I felt (the good and the bad). You used my mental illness as a scapegoat for your toxic behaviors.

I did not do this. I did not make you talk to those girls. I did not push you to flirt with people I didn’t know. I didn’t make you leave. You did that to yourself. I realized I was done with the lies. I was done with making you love me but instead decided to love myself. I want to love myself more than I could ever love you. Yet, I can’t. I can’t stop thinking about how you said that I made you do this by “acting crazy”. The truth is that when you love someone, no matter how much they annoy you, make you cry, push you when you want to be still, no matter how much any of that happens, you stay. You know that their intentions are good. You make sure they always feel loved, even when you’re angry. But you didn’t do that. You ran to the next girl who could comfort you.

I can’t stop thinking about how you said that I made you do this by “acting crazy”. The truth is that when you love someone, no matter how much they annoy you, make you cry, push you when you want to be still, no matter how much any of that happens, you stay. You know that their intentions are good and make sure they always feel loved, even when you’re angry. But you didn’t do that. You ran to the next girl who could comfort you.

For this, you aren’t worthy of being with a girl like me. I’m loyal and deserve the same amount of respect. You were a mistake I made, a toxic mistake. You made me question my worth as a person, and even worse, as a woman. I stopped eating, sleeping, reading, writing. I stopped being the person I was because you didn’t like it. No more.

One day I WILL find a person who accepts me for who I am. I love hard and passionately, anything less is a waste of time. I wasn’t enough for you, but I will be enough for myself. I will be able to love myself stronger because I got over you. I will always love you & care about you, but I will not be your welcome mat anymore. I’m not here to be used and thrown away. I should be cherished for my creativity, humor, smile, passion, and generosity. ou couldn’t do that. You couldn’t handle a person loving you.

You couldn’t do that. You couldn’t handle a person loving you.

Yet, I can. I can handle someone being so madly in love with me they would never dare do anything to jeopardize my feelings for them. I’m ready to accept the love I deserve.

Advertisements